5th December - Glasgow

December 7th, 2006 by Billyb | Posted in Road Blog |

In among all the dashing about, there were one or two moments that do bear recounting. The Electric Proms gig at the Roundhouse in London on 26th October was memorable for the fact that, called upon to make a sudden transition from author to singer-songwriter, I suffered a moment of crisis.

In front of a live audience, but, mercifully, being recorded for the Gideon Coe show, I fluffed the start of ‘Greetings to the New Brunette’ not once, nor twice but three times. After the second failed attempt, hoping to evade further embarrassment I suggested to Gideon that I play something else, but the audience, smelling blood, were having none of it. ‘Nooo’ they bayed, hoping to witness further humiliation. Trapped, I threw myself into the song once again. Did I get it right the third time? I didn’t stop to find out.

I would be lying if I said that this wasn’t on my mind as I stepped onstage at the Opera House in York on the first night of the tour. It was one of those theatre gigs where the acoustics are so good that it is impossible to hide any fluffs. However, the audience warmed to me and I quickly overcame my first night nerves and settled into playing the new set.

On this tour, without a support act, I am performing two sets of about an hour each, broken by a 20 minute interval. The theatre management are very particular about exactly when I take the break, as a disaster occurred here recently when another act did an over-long first half and, as a result, all the ice-cream waiting to be sold in the foyer melted.

The next day, on my way to do a book signing at a local store, I find the narrow streets of the old city teeming with shoppers. I though it was New York that everyone was headed to for bargains this year, not Old York?

Holmfirth is a small market town in the Yorkshire Dales where the sitcom ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ was filmed. The venue for the gig, the Picturedome is a 1920s cinema which has yet to qualify for the BBC’s ‘Restoration’ programme. The place looks rickety from the inside, but is sound enough to be showing the new Bond movie although I would worry about its stability when Hawkwind visit next week. Holmfirth, which is synonymous with notions of cosiness, goes mad on a Saturday night. The place was heaving and everyone seemed in sing-along mode, a real contrast to the reverence of the night before.

The next morning, as I had breakfast in one of the numerous ‘Summer Wine’ themed tea shops, the owner reminded me that I had been there before, showing me that strange picture which appears in Andrew Collins’ ‘Still Suitable for Miners’ of myself with Hairy Cornflake Dave Lee Travis, Andy McCluskey of Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark and Nora Batty, the battleaxe from ‘Summer Wine’. What were we doing there? Plotting an incendiary response to Thatcher’s hated poll tax.

As I ate breakfast, someone who had been at the gig the night before suggested I did a tour on which I just played my love songs. Noting that the current tour was supported by, among others, anti-fascist campaigners Love Music, Hate Racism, she said “You’ve done Hate Racism, how about doing Love Music?” Now there’s a thought.

Burnley in Lancashire suffers from having half a dozen BNP councillors and was the frontline in anti-racist activity until superseded by my home-town, Barking, in East London. The Mechanics Theatre is a great venue and the standing audience made it feel more like a Saturday night than a Sunday. ‘All You Fascists Are Bound To Lose’ was particularly appreciated there.

The fact that the Scottish Symphony Orchestra were rehearsing all day at the Glasgow City Hall suggests that it isn’t really built for rock gigs. Plugging in my electric guitar during the soundcheck, I hit a power chord that reverberated around the room for a good 30 seconds. The set I’ve been playing has been geared to drowning out the sound of the bar at the back of the room. Here, I’ll have to be a bit less in-yer-face. Out go songs like ‘To Have and Have Not’, in comes ‘Tank Park Salute’ and a new song ‘If You Ever Leave’. Also, this being Scotland, not much point in playing ‘England, Half English’, so I replace it with ‘Take Down the Union Jack’.

The show went so well that, at its conclusion, I run up through the stage risers where the orchestra had been earlier rehearsing and climbed the back balcony, to much cheering.